How Having A Second Baby Gave Me More Time

When I found out I was pregnant with my second child, the initial feeling was terror. Oh my god, I thought. How was I going to do this? I was already balancing a full time job with a 2 year old.

When my son was born, I knew I had to quit work. It simply wasn’t financially viable for me to work and pay for daycare, and I couldn’t bear to leave him at such a young age.

So I quit.

For the first time in my life, I was a stay at home mom. And to be honest, I was excited. I imagined all the extra time I’d have, all the bonding experiences we’d go through. Everything seemed a little easier.

And at the beginning it worked well. Although my son wasn’t sleeping well, he was sleeping (which was better than my daughter was).  But as each day passed, more and more things seemed to fill my time. It almost seemed like I had more to do than when I was working full-time. There was always something to fill the void. Never any dedicated me time.

This is when I discovered the true meaning of ‘full’ time job. The job of a stay at home mom is so demanding precisely because you are never switched off. You don’t have a lunch break or a start time, and the expectations are endless.

Whenever you’re home, you’re thinking about everything that needs to be done. There isn’t time to just relax.

I knew I needed a solution, so I spoke to my friends about how they managed it, and they told me that I don’t actually need to be doing everything I’m doing.


It’s okay to leave the dishes in the sink for an hour while I have some me time? I don’t have to keep the floor spotlessly clean at all times? My son and daughter can play together and get dirty and that’s okay?

This was a relief. Until then, I actually hadn’t considered that things were okay the way they are. That all I was doing was judging my own abilities too harshly and stressing myself out.

I’ve also realized having the right gear, like a good double pram, makes things so much easier!

It’s been a struggle, but I’ve realised this, I’ve slowed down and learned how to take some time for myself. I now allow myself 15 minutes of meditation daily, as well as a dedicated hour of self love in any form, be it a bath or gardening. Something I enjoy.

I recommend everything, stay at home mom or not, to do the same. It’s life changing.